


in moderation

by rarestsenpai



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst, M/M, breakup fic but like the aftermath, oh man I was worried cause this fic was kinda short but I hope people give it a try, there's like some punching tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-04
Updated: 2017-01-04
Packaged: 2018-09-14 17:54:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9197015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rarestsenpai/pseuds/rarestsenpai
Summary: “It’s pathetic how obvious you’re miserable. And it’s obvious he misses you too.”Yuri had always been a sharp kid. Now, at the age of twenty, he’s as blunt as a hammer smashing cracks across your facades and the sting feels like a knife.OrThe break up leaves Victor whirling in the aftermath and Yuri struggles to piece together what's left of the man he once knew.





	

In hindsight, the relationship was a complete disaster from the start

You’ve turned numerous people down and you’ve long lost count of the number of people who’ve approached you between the threadbare days where you can barely hold yourself together.

Then he shows up, a familiar build and hair a soft shade of black that almost tears the name from your throat, _almost_ because the shade of black is not what you’re looking for exactly.

You say yes and he’s pleasantly surprised.

The relationship turns physical within a week and the breakup soon after because you can never get his name right. You don’t even know his name, he says and you don’t say anything in return because you know he’s right.  

The next day, you meet another admirer who has a sharp pair of eyes hidden under a shaggy mop of dark, dark hair.

And the next, and the next, and the next.

Sometimes, they initiate the breakup because they realize you’ve never been invested in the first place.

Sometimes, you initiate the breakup because you’ve met someone else whose hair matches the shade you’re looking for even better than the last, their eyes even more vibrant than the last but still dull compared to the one in your dreams.

A cycle begins to form when you start to say yes to everyone who reminds you of him in some way.

It doesn’t take long before your nights are spent with your fingers curled in varying shades of black that are close, but not quite the same. Word spreads quickly that you have a _specific type_ and bright-eyed, soft-spoken men line up for the chance to be swept away into Victor Nikiforov’s bed.

Yuri always said that he had terribly impeccable timing when it comes to you and you couldn’t help but agree when he finally barges into your apartment one day while you’re occupied with your latest fling.  He freezes at the open bedroom door, then promptly shuts it behind him and you hear his footsteps making a trail towards your kitchen.

The night wraps up early for you when you find that you’re longer interested in your entertainment for the night. You send them out of the house and they slug you at the door hard enough for you to stumble back. For a moment, you regret letting them go because you thought you saw _his_ eyes in the split second their fist met your jaw.

“You sure took your fucking time,” Yuri says, pressing his lips on the edge of a cup of coffee he’s made and you shrug, “What the fuck was that about?”

You refuse to give in to his bait, “What brings you here?”

He ignores your question, jerking his thumb towards the kitchen, “I’m starving. Your fridge sucks, there’s nothing to eat.”

“I eat my meals outside.”

He snorted, “I guessed that much.”

You stalk past him into the kitchen. He’s taking his time to get to the topic, you note. Yuri tilts his head towards you, gaze following you as you pull out a bag of ice from the fridge, pressing it against your jaw.  

When are you planning to get back with him?”

“That’s none of your business.”

“It’s pathetic how obvious you’re miserable. And it’s obvious he misses you too.”

Yuri had always been a sharp kid. Now, at the age of twenty, he’s as blunt as a hammer smashing cracks across your facades and the sting feels like a knife. You sigh, mentally chiding yourself for failing to be more careful around him.

“Alright, so I do miss him.”

“You know what’s wrong with you? You’re always pushing away people who are fucking trying to help you.”

“Wow, here you are giving me advice when you can’t even bring yourself to ask a certain someone out yourself.”

“Fuck you, Victor. I’m actually _trying_ to help you out here. Don’t you fucking bring that kind of sh-”

“-You think I’m a coward but in reality, you’re just as much of a coward as I am. Go on, pick up the phone and give your wet dreams a call.”

“ _Victor, you shut that fucking trap of y-_ ”

“-You’re such a coward that you ended up getting a fucking imitation of Otabek. Bet the last one broke up with you after calling the _wrong name_ in bed didn-“

For the second time that day, you feel a pain blossom in your jaw and your surroundings spin as you try to stabilise yourself.

“ _Shut the fuck up_ ,” a sob wrenches from his throat, “That was _really_ uncalled for.”

You lower yourself to the floor, staring straight at the grimy tiles of the kitchen floor under your palms as you listen to his muffled cries.  Something akin to shame wells up inside you—Yuri’s a young man with broad shoulders to match but you should have known better around someone younger than you.

“You don’t have to help me.”

“You’re right. I don’t. I don’t deserve listening to your pathetic, lousy insults. Yeah, I’ll admit, my relationships are pathetic too. You _wanna_ be like me?”

Yuri rubs his knuckles and he glares down at you, chest heaving from the exertion, “I’m wasting my time here if you don’t get it so I might as well leave now.”

“I really messed up huh.”

“Yeah, you did.” A beat. “…Sorry about the punching.”

You let out a chuckle, “It was stupid of me to let my mouth run off like that.”

He shakes his head, letting a choked laugh escape, “You think? That stupid mouth of yours was probably what got you into all this shit in the first place anyway.”

He’s not wrong.

“Man, we really need to get our shit together,” he exhales, sinking down next to you on kitchen floor, “He loved you, y’know?”

You choose not to say anything in return, letting the silence of the calm fill your apartment.

You loved him too.

**Author's Note:**

> If you read this to the end, thank you so much???
> 
> I actually kinda went jfhsdkfshf to a friend before I uploaded it cause like I know a lot of people don't like reading 2nd person perspective but ahhh whatever it's wRITTEN AND IT'S HERE. Will I ever write more of this??? 
> 
> lmao [tumblr](http://sneakycharliesneaky.tumblr.com/)


End file.
